Loneliness. Merle Haggard continued to work well into his old age, driven by a fear of loneliness and death. The legendary musician simply didn't want to be alone.
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Merle Haggard once sat down with Dan Rather on The Big Interview in 2013. Only a few years before he passed away. At this point, the singer was loaded. He could happily have lived the rest of his days in bliss. But he kept powering on.
Noticing this, Dan Rather asked Merle Haggard why he bothers to continue. And I really wasn't ready for his response.
"I'm scared of the loneliness."
"It can get awful quiet, awful quick. If you want to be left alone, they'll leave you alone. But you don't want that, and I don't want it, either," he said. The look in his eyes and the gravity of his voice show that when he's not actively working, he has no one to spend his time with. Despite having children, it's clear he never received much company.
His fears were more than loneliness, however. Haggard's own mortality was looming over him.
"We want to continue, and we don't want to ever die," he said with a bittersweet smile. "That's the next big event when you retire."
Merle Haggard Opens Up About Fears In His Old Age
Merle Haggard continued explaining how loneliness is an awful feeling. "Loneliness is a terrible thing. And you know, the older you get, the fewer people you know."
He pointed out that old people don't really know anyone older than them, especially when they get to 90.
"It's got to be a much better life, being Merle Haggard, with a big fan base," he then said. What begins as though a sarcastic quip about loneliness being there for all, he twists his message into a positive one as he reflects on how grateful he is for his fans.
"Trying to play and trying to keep your craft up to standards. I think that keeps you alive."
Haggard likely didn't think he'd still be kicking without his fans to keep him occupied, busy, and meeting people.
