The Onion, an intentionally tongue-in-cheek satire outlet, is buying Infowars, an unintentionally hilarious outlet and I think it could be a journalistic goldmine.
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When Infowars declared bankruptcy, The Onion was quick to swoop in. The opportunity was far too good to pass up. In a statement on The Onion, Bryce P. Tetraeder says "The decision to acquire InfoWars was an easy one for the Global Tetrahedron executive board."
The deal went through quickly but has been held up, inevitably, by various legal issues. The Onions lawyers still have full faith that it will go through, but there are delays. These are being caused by the many people who rely on the suspicion, hate, and malice Alex Jones's mouthpiece provides for the country. Unsurprisingly, Elon Musk is backing the protection of the s--t-spewing outlet.
Tetraeder sang the praises of the true value of Infowars to The Onion. "InfoWars has distinguished itself as an invaluable tool for brainwashing and controlling the masses. With a shrewd mix of delusional paranoia and dubious anti-aging nutrition hacks, they strive to make life both scarier and longer for everyone, a commendable goal. They are a true unicorn, capable of simultaneously inspiring public support for billionaires and stoking outrage at an inept federal state that can assassinate JFK but can't even put a man on the Moon."
He praises their clever and manipulative tactics. Due credit is given to their intuitive manipulation of the lesser-witted. Moreover, appreciation is given for their constant flip-flopping from anti-capitalist rebels to corporate ass-lickers. But, now they're at the wheel, The Onion has new plans for Infowars.
The Onion Has Plans For Infowars
The future of Infowars is going to be weird, and undoubtedly hilarious under the hand of The Onion. It has been stated that they plan to turn it into a satirical news site, poking fun at famous talking heads and various politicians.
The Onion could easily run with the current recognized branding of Infowars. It is already seen as a joke by many people, happier to watch it for the obscenity rather than the facts. Alex Jones has been a hack reporter for a long time, insulting, insinuating, and instigating wherever he knows he will cause trouble.
There is plenty of scope for a Brass Eye or The Day Today style show, ridiculing current affairs. The new Infowars could finally be the unbridled, unrestricted satire news outlet media seems to have been so afraid of for so long.
Infowars has been nothing but a reactionary clickbait outlet forever, driven towards further dividing people and justifying obscene theories. But, The Onion plans to make it less vitriolic, and much more intelligent. On Bluesky, CEO Ben Collins told folks "We are planning on making it a very funny, very stupid website. We have retained the services of some Onion and Clickhole Hall of Famers to pull this off."
I, personally, cannot wait to see what The Onion does to Infowars. Watching Alex Jones fury at his baby's demise will be fantastic. I have no doubt the families of Sandy Hook won't shed a tear at its end either.
